loving

One of the quotes on a recent episode of Felicity that I watched really stuck out to me. Sally was giving Felicity advice on her disastrous relationship with Ben, and how she had done something to him that made him so angry he didn't want to talk to her anymore, and she didn't know how to respond. Sally's advice was this:

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me."

It wasn't until recently in my life that I really started to grasp what that meant. My natural reaction when there is not equal love in a relationship that I'm in, be it romantic or not, is not to be more loving, but to either be more spiteful (which is usually a game I am better at winning), or to shy away, let the other person be more loving while I just sit quietly and afraid. However, I am learning, through the wisdom of JJ Abrams (writer of Felicity), and the grace of God, that those are not the most appropriate reactions. The response should not be to spite back to someone to the best of my ability, but to love back.

It is often putting oneself out on a limb to be the one who is more loving. You can get hurt, you can feel lonely, you can feel frustrated that you're not getting back in return what you are giving out. But that is not what loving is. Loving is unconditional- whether you receive it back or not. This, of course, is mirrored in our relationship with Christ. What if he only loved us as much as we loved him back. We'd all be in trouble.

As I look at the broken relationships in my life, I can see that they are a result of me not being the more loving one. I pray that I can better learn how to do that.

My Aunt, and Smells of Spring

I initially titled this "Smells of Spring and my Aunt" but realized that I did not want to write about "smells of my aunt." So, here we find ourselves.

I have a wonderful Aunt who likes to do nice things for me. Sometimes she does them in large quantities.

Today I called her because I heard that her lilacs are in bloom and that is my very favorite smell in the whole world, and so I wanted to see if I could get a few clippings from her lilac bushes to put in a vase in my apartment. She obliged.

When I arrived at her house she already had cut some for me because I was arriving after dark. I allowed her to load them into my trunk. when I got home I realized the sheer volume that she had sent with me, but I couldn't let them go to waste! So, I cut what I could, discarded what I could not, and was left with what you see below. A lovely smelling apartment, and 7 vases of lilacs!

I hope that you are smelling some wonderful smells of spring as well!

my problem is not lack of a man, it's lack of creativity

Last night a new friend who just joined our small group showed up with a new accessory- an engagement ring! It was just over 24 hours since it had happened, and she was still in the whirlwind of it all. It was a true joy to share that moment with her.


However, something happened next that I have never experienced before. My guess is that it is a fairly common phenomenon, but I have just never been in the company for this experience. Apparently, upon hearing that someone is engaged and listening to them tell their story, (My friend's, btw, was probably one of the best engagement stories I've ever heard), all married persons feel strangely compelled to tell their own engagement story. It's almost like a competition. Something like "well, you think that's good... my story might not be as romantic... but it sure is quirky..."


So, there we sat in my small group, 4 married couples, one newly engaged woman, and me. I, not surprisingly, had very little to contribute to the conversation, as I have never been engaged. So I just smiled and listened and ate my ice cream cake. Which is probably the best that I could really do in that situtaion.


But, what my friend Becky pointed out, is NOT my lack of a man, but my lack of creativity. Sure, I'm not engaged, but why should that stop me. I am a creative young woman, what I need is a completely over-the-top, if not truly unbelievable engagement story- who cares if it's true?

She tossed out a few suggestions, but I have not latched on to any yet. So, be on the lookout in the near future for my really good engagement story- be it true or not. It might be- you have no way of knowing. But I'm going to be ready for that social situation the next time it happens. And I will be witty- and I will have the best story.... and I will win.

dear sally,

Despite my somewhat busy lifestyle, I have recently taken to spending my time watching old TV shows on DVD. Since Christmas I am on my third series- Felicity. I watched seasons 1 & 2 many years ago, and have never seen 3 & 4. Thanks to the wonders of generous friends and Blockbuster online, I am taking this series on yet again.

Felicity follows the 4 year college career of a CA woman who follows a boy to college in NYC, and documents her life learning in the classroom, in the dorm, and with boys. Each episode opens with her recording a "letter" on a cassette tape and mailing it off, and ends with Sally (voiced by Janeane Garofalo) reading her letter back. I don't know if I wasn't paying attention the first time, but, even after only 6 episodes, I am impressed by the writing (oh, JJ Abrams- can you even make bad television?) and wisdom that is dished out in every episode. Sure, there are cheesy WB moments designed just for the 18 year old crowd, but as someone who loves college students (it's in my job description), I think that this show did some good things in its time.

I have felt moved and contemplative after nearly every ending, particularly by the closing words of Sally (who is an older friend who shares her life wisdom with young Felicity). It is thought provoking, and I look to share some of these thoughts in upcoming entries. I just wanted to take this opportunity to give a little background and share what might be ahead.

My friend Becky (and maybe the only reader of this blog) is blogging and sharing life through the narrative of food and cooking. I am choosing to use mediocre television. Stay tuned.... ooo- insert cheesy unintentional pun here...

Singles Registry...

WARNING: This is my first blog and it is a little wordy.... I will work on this....

I recently had a conversation regarding my continued attendance and multiple weddings and, more recently, baby showers. Life around me is progressing rapidly, and I am happy to share these celebratory experiences with those I love. I go to the showers, buy the presents, attend the weddings (alone, because I rarely get "and guest" anymore) and for the large part am happy to do it. It is a joyful time to share with my friends. However, as a single woman, such events start to drain on me. I am rounding the corner to 28 (which, by the way, is my "late 20's," a concept I am still getting used to), and feel like my life is more or less on hold. I look back 6 years ago to when I graduated from college, and, for better or for worse, life is not that different. I have some more stuff, a different apartment, and a different job, but nothing permanent. My stuff is all hand-me-downs (which I am thankful for), my apartment is smaller, and my job is less advanced. According to typical standards- I'm not moving very far along in life.

However, it's not all that grim. Life has advanced. I certainly have learned some life lessons along the way, and I am CERTAINLY not the same person- in thought, faith, ideology, even physically (I'll talk more about my running at a later time...). Plus- the most eminent change on the horizon- I am about to graduate with my Masters (a mere 6 years in the works). Graduation is 4 weeks from tomorrow! Life will probably (at least initially) not look different the day after graduation from the day before, but it is still an accomplishment. One if fact, that I think is worth celebrating. Which brings me to this question:

It is an accomplishment. Probably the biggest thing for me to celebrate since I graduated from college. I'd like to have a party. Just to celebrate. Not for any other purpose. I will likely send out invitations that say "NO GIFTS, PLEASE." However, there is a part of me (nudged by a friend), that says- HEY- this is big. I deserve some gifts. After all, I have friends that I've bought gifts for- from wedding showers to weddings to baby showers for the last 6 years- I deserve something!!! Some of my friends think this is great- while others have called it "pompous and arrogant." What do you think? Is it wrong for a 27 year old single woman to go so far as to "register" for her MA graduation? What if I was 35 and getting my PhD? At what point is it acceptable for a single woman to receive wedding-type gifts? When I buy my first house? Or do I just keep using the dishes my mother received at her first wedding 35 years ago for the rest of my single life?

I'm going to try to post a poll... Let me know your opinion.

trying again.

This is the first post in over a year on a blog that is several years old. I have never been successful at keeping up with it, but I will try again. I've decided that maybe my life happenings aren't too exciting, but I have lots of questions, so why not ask them.

I felt inspired to write something (I was not inspired on what to write, however), based on the fact that my blog address was added to the margin of a friend's blog, so that our blogs could be bffs. Maybe I don't have a lot to say that the world is waiting for, but I might. So, I will test the waters. My life isn't completely average, based on comparisons to those around me. I'm (as I recently have been coming to terms with) in my late 20's, single, finishing grad school, and trying to figure out life. Maybe that is what most are doing, but it sometimes seems as though those around me are little more ahead of the curve than I am.

I hope that this is a place to compile thoughts, seek opinions, and have a good laugh. I may not be Julie Powell, but it might work out okay....