Remedial Blogger

I was doing so well there for awhile, posting new things as they were happening. But I have been delinquent and have not posted in a month! What few readers I had are probably gone by now. I have not not posted for a lack of things in my life, but for the abundance I have not had time to write or even think about writing. A brief recap of my month since the 11th when I last posted: Laird Reunion, Smith family vacation, back to work with VBS every night that first week (pretty much negating all rest I got on vacation), finding a new townhouse to rent, signing the lease, searching for a 3rd roommate, traveling to Greene Hills camp for IMPACT, traveling to state college for a wedding (and eating and drinking, as is required in state college), cleaning the new house, thinking about packing the apartment. It has been full, but good. Good times with good friends and family- if I have to be crazy busy, I'm glad it's with those that it has been with. Check out my facebook for some updated photos!

Not only have I cleaned at the new house, but I have also redone my bathroom (or, I partially redid it, and watched while Billy did the painting...). My next post will have pictures of said bathroom. I'll not ruin the joyous surprise of the changes that I made.... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Registry follow up

Dear 13 people who read my blog- Thanks for voting on my little survey. As you may recall, back in April I posted a blog called "Singles Registry." You can find it here. It was around the idea of me registering for my graduate school graduation. Since that time I have graduated, and many have asked, "so, did you register?" I did not. While I certainly appreciate the 12-1 vote that was pro-registry as a single gal, I could not muster the inner strength to do it. I wish that I could have, but I could not. But it wasn't because I think that it is inherently wrong. I still believe that just because someone is unmarried it doesn't want or deserve (I know, I am always hesitant to use the word 'deserve') to have nice things, however, the fear of criticism was greater than the desire for belongings.

I attended a wedding shower this weekend for a dear friend of mine. It was a beautiful and moving day, and I haven't been this excited for someones wedding in some time. How happy my friend is was just radiating from her, and you could feel in the room how loved she is by the women in her life. It was an emotional day, more so than I realized it would be, and I became quite upset with myself when I felt a bit of jealousy creep in as I watched her open her gifts. As I thought about it, it's not even the stuff- I have plenty of stuff and it all works just fine- but I think it is what the "stuff" represents. A fresh start. A new beginning. A new place filled with new things and a lifetime ahead to grow. I think that is what it represents.

And I am well acquainted with this wedding and registry process. I did some remembering and research, and since my graduation from college (just over 6 years ago), I have attended at least 35 weddings for friends, coworkers, and family. They are all joyous celebrations and I love sharing that day with people that I love. But I have bought a lot of gifts for a lot of people. It just starts to feel unbalanced after a while.

But to quote my mother (nearly everyday of my childhood) "Becki, life isn't fair."

So, no, I didn't register. And I still have plenty of things. More than enough. And I was blessed with gifts that still I did not deserve for my graduation. But that doesn't change that I am still a little uneasy with the whole system.

Apartment Living

There are always highs and lows to each situation, but I have realized that it is sometimes difficult to remember the pros of living in an apartment complex. I had a conversation today with someone from work that "moving and living situations are temporary, even if they feel permanent" and that was a helpful reminder to me as even though I likely will not be... .I feel like I might be here forever. I don't want to be in my 50s and still hanging out at the complex pool with my girlfriends (as I encountered this weekend).

I know that there are benefits to living in such a location. It's fairly cheap- especially for the sq footage we have, there's a pool, and I don't ever have to do yardwork or personally fix things when they break. That is about where the pros end.

The cons, sometimes, seem a little more apparent on a day to day basis. There are the ants- which supposedly the complex took care of, but we still have. There was the day that we blew a fuse by 2 of us drying our hair and we had to call the maintenance department to come fix it b/c we can't access the breaker box ourselves. (I'm no electrician, but that is work I am certainly able to do on my own). And then there is the washer/dryer. It's a mini-stackable unit- and it sucks. It holds about 2 days worth of laundry at one time, and I run everything through the dryer twice and then still hang most of my stuff. Last week I went out and bought a second drying rack because one just wasn't cutting in anymore. Here is a photo of what my bedroom looks like on laundry day. Which takes up several hours a week because of the # of loads you have to do.

There are also the neighbors. Now, we have really not gotten to know any of our neighbors. My roommate met one, who rather indignantly accused her of being a college student (which she is not), I think in her mind that living across from a college student would be the greatest tragedy of her life. Next to that lady (and her sister) are a couple who we can't quite figure out. They are either generous foster parents, or they are running a meth lab. The husband is on oxygen and rarely comes out of the apt, but when he does, he is inevitably pulling his oxygen cart behind him while smoking, and yelling at someone in the complex for something (we first encountered him on move in day when we were using one of the excess handicap spots). There are people of all ages and of all ethnicities coming in and out of their apartment at literally all hours of the day and night. It is suspicious. but maybe they are just very hospitable people (who have never spoken to us).

One final (though this is certainly not an exclusive list) downside to the apartment is the smells. If my neighbors are smoking (which they do often), or cooking something spicy (or sauerkraut, which they also do often), it doesn't just smell out in the common area- it wafts right in through my bathroom vent. GROSS!!

Those are just some highlights into life at my [unnamed] apartment complex. What is it like where you live? I hope better....

achievements and disappointments

Today was a day of highs and lows. The low- my gym closed. Not "at the end of the day" closed, but closed- closed. As in, yesterday it was open, today it was not. Now, this is disappointing to me on several levels. The first of which is the fact that I paid for the month of June just a week ago, and that is money that I am not going to get back (really, i'm not. They said). That makes me angry.

But I am also disappointed because I genuinely liked my gym. I have grown emotionally attached to it in the last year and a half that I have been a member. They had good staff, good service, good equipment, GREAT classes with wonderful instructors- I loved it there. When I moved last summer I stayed at my gym- sure it's a 15-20 minute drive and costs more the twice the amount of the gym that is basically on my street, but I just LOVED my gym. I knew the people there and how it worked. I was planning to go last night- I had my yoga mat in my car for my favorite class, but couldn't bring myself to go in the heat (my car told me it was 103), and as it turns out, that would have been my last opportunity.

Adding insult to injury are the facts that I just finished the latest issue of SELF which always gets me more motivated, I've been planning to buy new running shoes this weekend, and it's summer- when I need the gym the most. I'm seriously in mourning. It's sad when a business that you've come to know and love disappears- and even more upsetting when you feel like they've gone out of their way to screw over their patrons and employees. Now, I realize that in the great scheme of life this is not great tragedy, but still, it's upsetting. jerks. To read more about this: http://www.inyork.com/local/ci_9535393

In happier news, I want to take a moment to celebrate my car, Lola the Corolla. She has served me loyally and well for the last 6 1/2 years (don't worry, she's not going anywhere), but today she hit a mileage that I feel is worth celebrating. I felt that it was worth taking a picture of, and yes, I stopped my car on the way to work this morning to take this picture (I am a nerd). Now, hopefully this will not jinx me, but in the years I have owned Lola, she has never failed me or left me stranded, she is a hard worker, and I love her. Sure, there is not a THING automatic about her.. .but she keeps me from being lazy. Lola, thanks for all you do!

GRADUATE!

Well folks, it is official, I am done with graduate school!! I had my graduation ceremony 3 weeks ago, last week I presented my final project, and this morning I put the FINAL product in the mail. It is done!! Last night after I finished all my edits and I emailed it off, I put all my notebooks and notes and books back on the bookshelf- it was a major accomplishment!

It feels good to have completed something that I have worked on for so long... The project itself I have been working on for almost a year, and the degree- I took my first 9 credits 6 years ago this summer! I can't believe it! I also can't believe that I actually finished. I distinctly remember a conversation that I had in my last year of Messiah when some of my friends were talking about getting further degrees and I said "When I graduate from here- I AM DONE. No more school for me!" And then 3 months later Geneva sucked me in. But I have loved the program, the classes, the work, the professors, the classmates, and the things that I have learned. It has truly been a wonderful experience- and now I have a Masters Degree!

The next part is the scary part... trying to put this degree to work! I'm going to be looking for jobs in higher education. The looking part is scary, but I am excited to work in this field. Hopefully there will be updates of that nature sooner than later, but for now, the church will do just fine.

more ants

So, after 3 days of traps everywhere, we seemed to have gotten the ant control at my desk and in the church lobby under control. There were a few entertaining mishaps, including one security guard picking up the traps not knowing what they were and not understanding why her hands were all sticky. (It was because she was covered in poison). But, as if the insect world is out to get me- we now have what appears to be the making of an ant problem in our apartment.

Now, before you accusing me of transporting them home, let me assure you that these are very different types of ants. At the church we have the itty bitty brown ones that you can barely see, while at the apartment we have the big black ones that are about a quarter inch long.

It all started early last week when I was sitting on my couch watching my tv when a big black ant dropped from the heating vent in the ceiling on to the floor right in front of me. It creeped me out a little, but I hoped it was an isolated incident. However, yesterday we found 4 in the kitchen throughout the day. And, I JUST got off the phone with Lindsey, there are 3 more. What am I doing wrong? I am a clean person. I don't leave food out, we vacuum at least once a week, I scrubbed the kitchen floor on Sunday on my hands and knees.... are we too clean? Are they facinated by this environment?

Don't get me wrong- we had mice in the office this winter and I certainly prefer ants to mice. But you know what I prefer even more to ants?... NOTHING. CLEAN. NO BUGS OR CRITTERS.

Is this too much to ask?

Attack of the Ants

So, yesterday I came into work after the long weekend, and as usual on a Monday morning (or in this case, Tuesday) I have to spend the first 10 minutes cleaning off my desk because of all the stuff that gets stacked on it from church people over the weekend. So, I was working on that when I discovered that there were ants EVERYWHERE. I decided to call the custodian to let him know and when I picked up the phone there were 3 chilling on the back side of the receiver that I almost put to my face! Gross!! The more I looked the more I realized that they were all over my desk. We had had a few ants here and there in the last 2 months... but maybe 3 a week. I think yesterday morning I killed 50 over the course of 4 hours.

So, the custodian came in with some poison and we found a whole parade of them in the lobby. They're little parade disappears into the wall on the opposite side of my desk. We can't find where they are coming in to the office, but they are appearing somehow. He put out 5 little traps of poisonous goo that is supposed to attract them and then have them take it back to their next, and all of them were just SWARMED with ants. The one on my desk hadn't attracted too many, but this morning it was covered.

in fact, as i type this, another swarm of like 30 just came cruising out from under my keyboard!!! AHHHHH! I'm under attack!

The most upsetting part of all of this is that I likely have the cleanest desk out of anyone else who works in my office. On Friday before I left for the weekend I dusted it and wiped the whole surface down with a Clorox wipe (I have to do this weekly because my desk is often used for a coffee table to place ones lunch, snacks, and drinks by my coworkers when they are using the copy machine). Then, yesterday, it was kind of sticky from the Clorox wipe and after I had removed the first round of ants I windexed the whole thing. And yet, more bugs arrive by the minute.

I must end this story here because I have to go kill somemore... another parade of 10 or so just entered from under my monitor. HELP!

I took a moment to take a photo of the parade coming up my desk to the poison trap. Since taking it the parade has tripled in size... but this gives you an idea. I circled the ants in yellow (they didn't turn out too clearly)

I would like to punch...

David Archuleta. He infuriates me. I have never watched American Idol before this season, and frankly I judged those who did, but now I think I know why. It brings out anger in me that most other television does not. I haven't watched it super regularly, but I can say in the last few weeks that I have become a fan. So great a fan that I hate those against anyone I root for. First I was a fan of Brooke White, and when she got kicked off I vowed to quit, but I of course got sucked back in. Now I love David Cook. He is the bomb. I think that if we met we would likely be the very best of friends, if not fall deeply in love. That, and I like his voice and his hair. I realize that he is just another stadium rock guy, and the world does not necessarily need another stadium rock guy, but, I still like him more than freaking David Archuleta.
JUST BECAUSE D.A. can wave his voice up and down DOESN'T make him a world class performer. In my opinion, he ruins songs. Like Imagine, or Sweet Caroline, or Think of Me. The list goes on- indefinitely. AND, the fact that the judges went ON AND ON about how WONDERFUL he is and then basically discarded D.C. angers me even more. So much so that I voted. I have NEVER voted for a reality show before, and have kind of considered myself above it, but watching D.A.'s tears as the judges gushed all over him was enough to move me to cast my vote. twice. (it was busy after that).
I hope that D.C. wins the competition tomorrow. But, I know that he probably won't. I also realize that both Davids already have their careers before them no matter who wins. D.A. will be on broadway, or make a standards album, or both. And, I think that the execs at the Disney Channel are FOOLS if they don't snatch him right up. And D.C. will make a stadium rock album, and go on being wonderful, and will probably come to the York Fair, where I will spend $100 to see him.
rant completed.

Smart Television

I realize that I am starting to write a lot about things that I have been watching (compared to reading) which bums me out a little, but, though I'm not reading too much, I'm not watching too much either. Last night I managed to watch Boston Legal from last week, which I had taped (yes, I still tape. No DVR for me- I actually have a 2 VCR system going for those big nights). Anyway, all that said, I made the decision last night that I think Boston Legal might be the smartest show on television right now. Don't get me wrong- there is some other good television happening. A lot of it I'm probably not watching, as I leave room in my schedule for Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (let's be honest- they are not smart television), but I would argue that the writers of, say LOST, know what they're doing (again- JJ Abrams- I love you).

What makes BL so smart (that's Boston Legal, not Becki Laird)? Well, for starters, it's David E Kelly- who has been known for his quality TV. Last week, for instance, the show moved time slots. The entire opening teaser was the staff of CP&S discussing when their staff meeting was- Tuesdays at 10 or Wednesdays at 10. What other show doesn't hide the fact in their writing that they are a show. It's hilarious. The plot last week was very politically centered- debating over MA voting for Obama or Clinton, kind of displaying how ridiculous the candidates have gotten. I just don't know any other show that is willing to touch this stuff. Especially a drama. I mean, this isn't John Stewart, you know?

Long story short- I recommend taking in an episode- or even getting hooked. It's one downfall (if you can call this a downfall), is that it doesn't have that soap-opera-y drama that keeps you sucked in from one week to the next. I often have to make myself make time to watch it, as I'm not addicted to it like I am to the Housewives, but once I do watch it- it is always worth it. It's smart, hilariously funny (I laugh out loud every week, even as I watch by myself), and touching. The relationship stories (particularly the one of Denny and Alan- BFFs) are just so moving.

Smart television. check it out.

loving

One of the quotes on a recent episode of Felicity that I watched really stuck out to me. Sally was giving Felicity advice on her disastrous relationship with Ben, and how she had done something to him that made him so angry he didn't want to talk to her anymore, and she didn't know how to respond. Sally's advice was this:

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me."

It wasn't until recently in my life that I really started to grasp what that meant. My natural reaction when there is not equal love in a relationship that I'm in, be it romantic or not, is not to be more loving, but to either be more spiteful (which is usually a game I am better at winning), or to shy away, let the other person be more loving while I just sit quietly and afraid. However, I am learning, through the wisdom of JJ Abrams (writer of Felicity), and the grace of God, that those are not the most appropriate reactions. The response should not be to spite back to someone to the best of my ability, but to love back.

It is often putting oneself out on a limb to be the one who is more loving. You can get hurt, you can feel lonely, you can feel frustrated that you're not getting back in return what you are giving out. But that is not what loving is. Loving is unconditional- whether you receive it back or not. This, of course, is mirrored in our relationship with Christ. What if he only loved us as much as we loved him back. We'd all be in trouble.

As I look at the broken relationships in my life, I can see that they are a result of me not being the more loving one. I pray that I can better learn how to do that.

My Aunt, and Smells of Spring

I initially titled this "Smells of Spring and my Aunt" but realized that I did not want to write about "smells of my aunt." So, here we find ourselves.

I have a wonderful Aunt who likes to do nice things for me. Sometimes she does them in large quantities.

Today I called her because I heard that her lilacs are in bloom and that is my very favorite smell in the whole world, and so I wanted to see if I could get a few clippings from her lilac bushes to put in a vase in my apartment. She obliged.

When I arrived at her house she already had cut some for me because I was arriving after dark. I allowed her to load them into my trunk. when I got home I realized the sheer volume that she had sent with me, but I couldn't let them go to waste! So, I cut what I could, discarded what I could not, and was left with what you see below. A lovely smelling apartment, and 7 vases of lilacs!

I hope that you are smelling some wonderful smells of spring as well!

my problem is not lack of a man, it's lack of creativity

Last night a new friend who just joined our small group showed up with a new accessory- an engagement ring! It was just over 24 hours since it had happened, and she was still in the whirlwind of it all. It was a true joy to share that moment with her.


However, something happened next that I have never experienced before. My guess is that it is a fairly common phenomenon, but I have just never been in the company for this experience. Apparently, upon hearing that someone is engaged and listening to them tell their story, (My friend's, btw, was probably one of the best engagement stories I've ever heard), all married persons feel strangely compelled to tell their own engagement story. It's almost like a competition. Something like "well, you think that's good... my story might not be as romantic... but it sure is quirky..."


So, there we sat in my small group, 4 married couples, one newly engaged woman, and me. I, not surprisingly, had very little to contribute to the conversation, as I have never been engaged. So I just smiled and listened and ate my ice cream cake. Which is probably the best that I could really do in that situtaion.


But, what my friend Becky pointed out, is NOT my lack of a man, but my lack of creativity. Sure, I'm not engaged, but why should that stop me. I am a creative young woman, what I need is a completely over-the-top, if not truly unbelievable engagement story- who cares if it's true?

She tossed out a few suggestions, but I have not latched on to any yet. So, be on the lookout in the near future for my really good engagement story- be it true or not. It might be- you have no way of knowing. But I'm going to be ready for that social situation the next time it happens. And I will be witty- and I will have the best story.... and I will win.

dear sally,

Despite my somewhat busy lifestyle, I have recently taken to spending my time watching old TV shows on DVD. Since Christmas I am on my third series- Felicity. I watched seasons 1 & 2 many years ago, and have never seen 3 & 4. Thanks to the wonders of generous friends and Blockbuster online, I am taking this series on yet again.

Felicity follows the 4 year college career of a CA woman who follows a boy to college in NYC, and documents her life learning in the classroom, in the dorm, and with boys. Each episode opens with her recording a "letter" on a cassette tape and mailing it off, and ends with Sally (voiced by Janeane Garofalo) reading her letter back. I don't know if I wasn't paying attention the first time, but, even after only 6 episodes, I am impressed by the writing (oh, JJ Abrams- can you even make bad television?) and wisdom that is dished out in every episode. Sure, there are cheesy WB moments designed just for the 18 year old crowd, but as someone who loves college students (it's in my job description), I think that this show did some good things in its time.

I have felt moved and contemplative after nearly every ending, particularly by the closing words of Sally (who is an older friend who shares her life wisdom with young Felicity). It is thought provoking, and I look to share some of these thoughts in upcoming entries. I just wanted to take this opportunity to give a little background and share what might be ahead.

My friend Becky (and maybe the only reader of this blog) is blogging and sharing life through the narrative of food and cooking. I am choosing to use mediocre television. Stay tuned.... ooo- insert cheesy unintentional pun here...

Singles Registry...

WARNING: This is my first blog and it is a little wordy.... I will work on this....

I recently had a conversation regarding my continued attendance and multiple weddings and, more recently, baby showers. Life around me is progressing rapidly, and I am happy to share these celebratory experiences with those I love. I go to the showers, buy the presents, attend the weddings (alone, because I rarely get "and guest" anymore) and for the large part am happy to do it. It is a joyful time to share with my friends. However, as a single woman, such events start to drain on me. I am rounding the corner to 28 (which, by the way, is my "late 20's," a concept I am still getting used to), and feel like my life is more or less on hold. I look back 6 years ago to when I graduated from college, and, for better or for worse, life is not that different. I have some more stuff, a different apartment, and a different job, but nothing permanent. My stuff is all hand-me-downs (which I am thankful for), my apartment is smaller, and my job is less advanced. According to typical standards- I'm not moving very far along in life.

However, it's not all that grim. Life has advanced. I certainly have learned some life lessons along the way, and I am CERTAINLY not the same person- in thought, faith, ideology, even physically (I'll talk more about my running at a later time...). Plus- the most eminent change on the horizon- I am about to graduate with my Masters (a mere 6 years in the works). Graduation is 4 weeks from tomorrow! Life will probably (at least initially) not look different the day after graduation from the day before, but it is still an accomplishment. One if fact, that I think is worth celebrating. Which brings me to this question:

It is an accomplishment. Probably the biggest thing for me to celebrate since I graduated from college. I'd like to have a party. Just to celebrate. Not for any other purpose. I will likely send out invitations that say "NO GIFTS, PLEASE." However, there is a part of me (nudged by a friend), that says- HEY- this is big. I deserve some gifts. After all, I have friends that I've bought gifts for- from wedding showers to weddings to baby showers for the last 6 years- I deserve something!!! Some of my friends think this is great- while others have called it "pompous and arrogant." What do you think? Is it wrong for a 27 year old single woman to go so far as to "register" for her MA graduation? What if I was 35 and getting my PhD? At what point is it acceptable for a single woman to receive wedding-type gifts? When I buy my first house? Or do I just keep using the dishes my mother received at her first wedding 35 years ago for the rest of my single life?

I'm going to try to post a poll... Let me know your opinion.

trying again.

This is the first post in over a year on a blog that is several years old. I have never been successful at keeping up with it, but I will try again. I've decided that maybe my life happenings aren't too exciting, but I have lots of questions, so why not ask them.

I felt inspired to write something (I was not inspired on what to write, however), based on the fact that my blog address was added to the margin of a friend's blog, so that our blogs could be bffs. Maybe I don't have a lot to say that the world is waiting for, but I might. So, I will test the waters. My life isn't completely average, based on comparisons to those around me. I'm (as I recently have been coming to terms with) in my late 20's, single, finishing grad school, and trying to figure out life. Maybe that is what most are doing, but it sometimes seems as though those around me are little more ahead of the curve than I am.

I hope that this is a place to compile thoughts, seek opinions, and have a good laugh. I may not be Julie Powell, but it might work out okay....

a new job!

Well, friends, it happened. I am no longer employed by Lisa's Cleaning Service!! As you may know, I have been on the search for a full time job since I left the CCO in July of last year. I had grown angry and frustrated with my current situation, and was feeling pretty hopeless. I had been keeping track of jobs applied for and was well into the 40s. I applied for a job @ my home church (Asbury UMC, York) a few weeks ago and didn't get it.

THEN: Last wednesday around 5 I got a call from the church saying that they'd like to meet with me. Long story short, we met @ 8:00 that night after my small group, they offered me the job, I took it, went it to Lisa's thursday morning and worked, met w/ Lisa @ noon, offered my 2 weeks notice, she said that that day could be my last, and I started @ the church on Friday!!!!

It is a full time administrative position, preparing all the documents (bulletin, newsletter, promotional), and other administrative things that happen at a church. They are very supportive of me and I am excited and thankful that God opened the doors that he did.

Thanks for being my friends through this frustrating time in my life... I apoligize if all that I have done is whine about life @ lisa's cleaning. I am thankful for the work that they provided me when I needed it, and am thankful for the path that I am on now.

On another big note, I turned in my literature review for my research class on Friday, it had been consuming all of my spare time the last few weeks. I have 3 more assignments for this semester, and then will only have 3 more classes to go before I am a Master.

Just thought that you'd be glad to hear this cheerful news!!!

i went to jubilee....

this past weekend, I attended the Jubilee Conference in Pittsburgh, for what I think is the 8th time. I attended for 3 years as a student, 4 years as a CCO staff member, and now this year, as, well, a rogue. I went with CCO staff member Billy Ferrell and 2 York College students who have been attending our (friday night) Bible Study (more about that another day). It was a strange place to find myself in- not being a student or a staff member, but having lots of students and staff members, from what seems to be another life, that i wanted to connect with. As if that wasn't challenging enough, there was all of the stuff that God seemed to throw at both me and my students.
I came with a pretty good understanding of what Jubilee is about- a Kingdom vision for the glory of God. I knew some of the ideas that would be shared- glorifying God in all that we do- and it met and exceeded my expectations. However, (and I knew this coming in), that my students were coming from a different place. They are new to Jubilee, and to CCO ministry for that matter- Billy only being @ York since the fall, and our Bible study having only met 3 times. They seemed to take it all in- better than I maybe did at my first Jubilee- and I pray that seeds were planted that we can see continue to grow.
I am not yet sure what all God will bring out of this weekend- but I am thankful for some of the things that were taught and learned- community, justice for the world, seeking to glory God in places we might not expect to, and seeking Him to grow us to leaders that will change the world. Stay tuned for thoughts as they unfold...

graduate school and some fun in WV

It's again been awhile since I have written anything....I think that I like this blog world, but it takes a bit of getting used to...

Last week I spent 5 days in Wheeling, WV for "winter institute," which is my winter session for the Geneva HED Program. I spent about 5 hours each day in class, several more in fellowship with members of the program, and the other days visiting with my friend Katie, who was gracious in her hospitality, and her friends in Wheeling. She is recruiting me to move to the "city of lights" (as I think they call themselves), and while I don't have a job or anything to move there, the week proved richer than I thought it would.

I realize that the thing that I miss the most about life after the CCO, particularly being at a place like Lisa's Cleaning Service, LLC. is community. It is a very tiring (physically), but also emotionally, place. I do not realize how much my spirit is beaten down until it is build up again being surrounded by HED and CCO folks. Being in class again was quite life giving, good to just be around folks with the same goals and questions and passions and to wrestle with some ideas that I seem to leave behind while I am scrubbing houses. It was also a good time to get to know some new folks, but my time with Katie was by far the most life giving. We met at CCO training almost 5 years ago, and she has just been a fun person in my life. She lives in the big old house in downtown, with a wine shop in the first floor. I helped stock wine, enjoyed some reading and relaxing time, and just fellowshipped with her and her friends, as she let me in on her life there. It was truly a blessing. I leave now to send her a thank you card. :)

It is good for God to send me times like this, where I remember that there is more to life out there than what I am experiencing now, and that hopefully he is preparing something even better for the future.

blessings to you this new year, may you find rich experiences as well....

on cleaning houses

It's a job, it's not a career. That is something that I have to remind myself. I have been at my "temporary" job for almost 3 months. I'm starting to not feel like "the new girl" anymore. (Luckily, we've gotten 2 new girls, so at least they don't call me that anymore).

So, what I am doing: I work for this company (Lisa's Cleaning Service, LLC), and we clean up and prepare new homes from the construction phase to being ready for the homeowner walk-through. May I just say- if these people paying $500,000+ for new houses knew what they looked like before we clean them up.... (maybe I will take some before/after photos for your benefit).

It is a physically demanding job, I am sore and tired a lot. It is also very emotionally demanding. Most of the women that I work with are 40+ and think of me as just some kid. Most of them have only a HS level of education (and a few don't even have that), which is an adjustment after working with all college/graduate students for 4 years. I had forgotten that not everyone is educated to the same level as the people I had come to know as my peers.

Why am I doing this? Well, I ask myself everyday. The most obvious answer is $$. I need a steady income to stay on top of the bills I have to pay.... I also needed something to do, I was going crazy not working for 2 months.

But what am I getting out of it?? God is really teaching me a lot. I am learning about patience- for my life, His plan, and the people He loves. I am learning about loving others unconditionally. I am learning about judgement and pride- both things I was quick to come to without even realizing it. And I am learning about grace. What it means to live in it and extend it to those around me.

I don't know what my future holds- i still want to be working in higher ed, or recreation, I want to live on my own, I want my old life back sometimes... but I have to remember that God has me in this time for a reason, and when I transition to the next thing I hope that I will be a changed person, and even more thankful for the things he has placed in my life.

i'm back (maybe)

well, I have been away from my blog (and life on the internet) for a while now. I'm attempting to come back and see what kind of connections and reconnections I can make.

I recenly completed my fourth year with a campus ministry organization, and decided that it was time to move on. Around that time everything else in my life changed as well, and now I find myself back in my parents' house in the room I haven't lived in since 1998 and all of my worldly possessions are in storage. (if they're okay in storage- do I really need them?? but that is another topic for another day).

I'm working on my masters in Higher Education from geneva college, and after 4 years of what we'll call "casually taking classes", I have decided to be serious about the program. of course, it will still take me 2 more years to finish... And so, I feel in limbo. I am over-qualified or under-qualified for any jobs that I am interested in, and yesterday sent out resumes/applications to my 26th and 27th jobs. It is frustrating.

In the mean time, I was growing weary of the inside of this bedroom and restless (and poor), and realized that I needed to be working in SOME capacity. So after an interview w/ Starbucks where I realized I'd work for months before I could pay off any bills, I took a job w/ a cleaning service that my sister's boyfriend had a work connection with.

I am cleaning houses that are in the final stages of building- we scrap out the building materials and clean out all of the dust and dirt so that they are ready for the new home-owners final inspection. I will not go on with the details or rules that I am required to follow (they are so funny they deserve their own blog), but I will just say that it is hard work- 10-13 hour days all on your feet or hands and knees scrubbing- and that it is a challenging place to find myself in the first non-Christian based job that I have ever worked.

That is a bit on what is going on with me... I will share more with you soon....

becki